Parenting plan: what is it & how to make one
If you’re going through a divorce and are starting to think about child custody arrangements, it’s worth creating a parenting plan.
A parenting plan is a written record of how two separated parents will raise their children, including who the children are with and when, how decisions about the children get made, and how (and when) the two of you will talk to each other. It can be so handy if you’re navigating co-parenting for the first time.
Set aside an afternoon to create your parenting plan. And remember, it’s not legally binding, but can help to prevent arguments and keep you both on the same page. Remember to consider things that may seem far off, such as funding university. You can always discuss changes at a later date, but a written parenting plan you both agree on will keep things moving in an amicable way, focused on the children.
What is a parenting plan?
A parenting plan is a document created by two parents who are divorcing or separating, and it outlines the practical arrangements for your children. It’s not a court order, it’s not legally binding and it isn’t filed anywhere, but it’s something between the two of you.
The purpose of a parenting plan is to remove any ambiguity - as ambiguity is a major source of conflict in co-parenting. It should prevent disputes about whether every other weekend includes Sunday nights, who buys the school shoes, and how and when you contact each other if you need advice, support or a discussion about anything your child is going through.
Get an agreement in writing that both of you are happy with, and your chance of parenting-based rows should reduce.
Remember your parenting plan is about arrangements for the children and how you parent them together, but separately. It is not about child maintenance, or dividing property between you. That is a separate process.
Is a parenting plan legally binding?
No, a parenting plan isn’t legally binding, it’s not a legal document, and it’s highly unlikely a court would enforce it if it came to it.
You might wonder in that case why you need a parenting plan, but there is a benefit to it. An agreement that the two of you wrote together is way more likely to be followed than an order that was imposed on you without your input. Family court prefers that both parents have a hand in it and sort out the arrangements themselves.
Section 1(5) of the Children Act says a court shouldn't make an order at all unless doing so is better for the child than not.
Two situations where it matters that a parenting plan isn't binding:
If you end up in court later, a written plan is useful evidence of what was agreed and how it worked. It’s not binding, but it will count for something. Judges will expect you to have an ‘Our Child’s Plan’ in place, and turning up without even attempting to have anything agreed between you is not a good look.
If arrangements are being repeatedly broken, a plan won't fix it and you may need a child arrangements order. A parenting plan is for parents who can co-operate imperfectly, not for parents who can't co-operate at all.
You can also have a plan turned into a consent order if you both want it formalised, but most people don't need to do this.
The Cafcass parenting plan, and its catch
Cafcass - the body that advises the family court about children - publishes the best-known parenting plan in England and Wales. It's now called Our Child's Plan, and it sits inside their Planning Together for Children Parent Hub.
It's good, and if you can use it you should.
The catch is that it's built for two. It's an interactive tool where each parent proposes arrangements and the other accepts or counter-proposes. It’s an excellent design for parents who are both engaged in the process, but a completely useless one if your ex won't log in, won't respond, or won't acknowledge the separation is happening.
There's a Word version you can download instead, which is the workaround, so you can get something started and present it to them.
If you're in the position of wanting to get something written down while the other parent is not currently co-operating, the template below is designed for exactly that: fill it in on your own, send it, and let them respond to something concrete rather than to an open question.
Cafcass covers England. Cafcass Cymru covers Wales and publishes its own version.
What ‘Planning Together for Children’ actually is
You might not have gone looking for this. A judge can order you onto Planning Together for Children at the first hearing, and plenty of people arrive at it that way.
It's a free course Cafcass runs on behalf of the Ministry of Justice, in three parts: up to two hours of online learning to complete within ten days, a two-and-a-half hour group workshop (usually online, maximum six people), and then Our Child's Plan itself. That's where the plan comes from: it's the end of the course, not a standalone download.
The thing everyone wants to know: you never attend the workshop with your ex. You're deliberately put in separate sessions.
It doesn't cost anything. And before anyone is referred, a Family Court Adviser assesses whether it's suitable using Cafcass's Child Impact Assessment Framework. It isn't used in every case, and there are safeguarding situations where it's ruled out entirely.
What to include in a parenting plan
There are six key things you should include in a parenting plan. Work through them in this order as the practical ones are easier to agree and build goodwill for the harder ones.
Living arrangements. Where the children mainly live. Which nights with each parent. How holidays and half terms split. Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day and Father's Day. Who collects and drops off, where, and at what time.
Communication between you. How you'll share information. Which decisions need both of you and which don't. How much notice for a change. How you'll settle a disagreement before it becomes a fight.
Communication with the children. Phone or video calls when they're with the other parent - how often, at what times, and whether calls are private.
Money. Child maintenance is separate and has its own rules, but plenty isn't covered by it: school trips, uniform, clubs, phones, pocket money, birthday and Christmas presents, and who pays for what as they get older.
School and health. Who the school contacts. Whether both of you get reports and go to parents' evenings. Who books appointments, who takes them, how you tell each other about illness.
Everything else that's specific to your family. Religion. Screen time. Diet. The dog. Consider new partners too - when and how they get introduced. Sports and activities that run across both households.
There's more on keeping those exchanges short and unexplosive in our co-parenting guide.
A parenting plan template you can fill in
Copy this, fill in your answers, and send it. It's designed so one parent can complete it alone and the other can respond to specifics rather than to a blank page.
Don't feel obliged to answer everything. Delete what doesn't apply and add what's missing - make sure your parenting plan reflects the actual reality of the life you and your children lead.
Parenting plan
Our children: [names and dates of birth]
Written by: [name]
Date: [date]
Reviewed: [date to revisit - six or twelve months is usual]
1. Where the children live
The children mainly live with:
They spend time with the other parent on:
A normal fortnight looks like:
Handovers happen at:
Handovers are done by:
If someone is going to be late, we will:
2. Holidays and special days
School holidays are divided:
Half terms:
Christmas:
Birthdays - the children's:
Birthdays - ours:
Mother's Day and Father's Day:
Holidays abroad - how much notice, and who holds the passports:
We will agree holiday dates by [date] each year.
3. Talking to each other
Our main way of communicating is:
We will reply to each other within:
Decisions we will always make together:
Decisions each of us makes alone:
Notice needed to change an arrangement:
If we disagree and can't resolve it, we will:
4. The children keeping in touch
Calls or video calls happen:
Calls are/aren't private:
The children can contact either parent whenever they want: yes / no
When they're old enough to have phones, we will:
5. Money beyond maintenance
Child maintenance is:
School uniform and shoes:
School trips:
Clubs, sports and lessons:
Phones and devices:
Pocket money:
Birthday and Christmas presents:
College & university:
Anything over £[amount] we will discuss first.
6. School
The school's main contact is:
Both parents are on the school's contact list: yes / no
Both parents receive reports: yes / no
Parents' evenings:
School events and performances:
We will tell the school about our separation: yes / no
7. Health
Routine appointments are booked by:
Both parents are told about appointments: yes / no
If a child is ill during the other parent's time:
Medication moves between houses by:
In an emergency, we will:
8. Other things that matter to us
Religion:
Screen time and online rules:
Food and diet:
Pets:
Activities that run across both houses:
New partners: when and how they're introduced:
Anything else:
9. Reviewing this
We will look at this again on:
Either of us can ask to change it by:
We both understand this isn't a legal document, and that we'll follow it because we both agreed it.
Signed: [both, if you can. One, if that's where you are.]
If the other parent won't engage
Write your proposed parenting plan anyway, and send it to them.
A completed plan is far harder to ignore than a request to discuss arrangements. It's specific, it's reasonable on its face, and it puts the other person in the position of having to object to particular lines rather than to the idea.
Three things that help:
Send it neutrally. No preamble about how difficult they've been. "Here's a first draft - change anything you don't agree with" gets a response and helps to get the process moving.
Make the first sections the easy ones. School contact details and who books the dentist are much easier to agree than Christmas.
Keep it. If you do end up in court later, a reasonable plan you sent and they ignored is a useful thing to have. Not because it's binding, but because it shows who was trying.
If arrangements are being broken repeatedly, or the other parent won't engage with anything at all, a plan isn't the tool for you. A child arrangements orders is more suited to you.
If there's been domestic abuse
Don’t start with a parenting plan.
A parenting plan assumes two people who can negotiate safely with each other. Where there's been abuse, that assumption doesn't hold, and the usual advice to communicate more and agree between yourselves can be actively dangerous.
The family court has separate rules for these cases, the mediation requirement doesn't apply to you, and legal aid may be available. That's covered on child arrangements.
The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, 24 hours, on 0808 2000 247. The support page has the others.
Reviewing the plan
Children change and plans go stale. A pattern that suits a six-year-old is wrong for a thirteen-year-old, who will have opinions about it and should.
Put a review date in - six or twelve months - and treat the plan as a working document rather than a settlement. Revisiting it on a date you both agreed is far easier than one of you raising it out of the blue, which always reads as an attempt to change something.
Last reviewed: October 2026. This page and template cover England and Wales. A parenting plan isn't a legal document and this isn't legal advice - if arrangements are disputed, take advice from a family solicitor.